Friday, August 31, 2007

How I felt about a month after Logan was born...

First email I sent to a parent with a child with down syndrome...first time I was brave enough to reach out...

Sent on June 24th, 2007
Logan was born on Mother's Day last month and is doing really well.
It was a complete surprise at birth that Logan had Down syndrome, so we had a very hard couple of weeks in the beginning. After the shock was over the next thing was the bonding process, which was really hard because I constantly compared how I was feeling to how I felt when my first son was born. I wanted so badly to feel the same way because it had been such a wonderful experience, but this time was just much different. It took longer to bond, but at this point I feel like we have come a long way and we love him so much, I can't imagine life without him.
The first couple of weeks I didn't want anyone telling me about Logan's condition and I didn't seek out any information. At that time I didn't think I would ever want to know because when I looked into the future I felt so overwhelmed and scared. (I still do) But eventually I started to read some info and I felt more and more comfortable talking to doctors and therapists.
I am doing pretty good right now because I have learned to live in the moment and take one day at a time. I feel less overwhelmed and I feel like I have had the time to adjust our future in my mind. It was hard to let go of how I had pictured our family's future to be before Logan arrived.
My husband is doing surprisingly well. He was very sad at first, but he quickly just made up his mind that we were going to love Logan and get on with our life as a family. He is very optimistic...more than me...I tend to be more realistic. I fear that Dale (my husband) may be disappointed in the future and I don't want to set myself up for that. But lately it has been hard not to be optimistic because Logan is such a sweetheart and so strong and healthy, so we have really been having a lot of fun with him.
We are in the process of filling out the paperwork for Katie Beckett and we have started the Birth to 3 program. He has had 3 therapists and a teacher assigned to him and we will be meeting the therapists and setting up our plans and goals for Logan this week.
I feel like we have done all that we can and should do for now...

Getting you caught up...

Logan Update Emails:

I was at the doctor today and he decided to induce me on Sunday, if nothing happens before then.
So we will be going into Bellin at 7am on Sunday.
Logan will be a Mother's Day baby!!
We are so excited!

Our sweet little boy is here...
May 13th 3:03 pm
6 lbs 3oz
18 inches

I just wanted to let everyone know how we have been the last few weeks. I can't believe Logan is 3 weeks old already! A lot has happened in these past few weeks and our lives have definitely changed in a huge way, but we are more and more optimistic about the future. Logan is still a very calm and easy going baby. He has slept all night from the beginning and I feel bad waking him to eat. He started life being very sleepy, but with each day he has been awake more and more which has been fun.
At his newborn check up about 2 weeks ago, he was back to his birth weight, but since then he has reached 7lbs 7.5oz, which is much more than what he needed to we were really surprised and happy. He also grew 2 inches!!!
He had his heart and his ears rechecked this past week and we got more good news! His heart has improved and now we only have to watch a small hole that has been shrinking so far. And his ears are working perfectly!
My only challenge with him right now is that he is starting to get spoiled!!! :) He loves to be held...but who could blame him. Dale and I actually fight over who gets to hold him. :)

Just thought I would give you another update since it has been a couple of weeks and Logan is changing so much.
Logan is becoming more and more active everyday. We don't go to the doctor again for a few more weeks, but we think he is about 10 pounds!! That is a huge thing, considering only about 5 weeks ago he was under 6 pounds. He will continue to have his heart monitored for probably years to come, but there are still no major concerns that we have to deal with right now. He is a little sweet heart and is sleeping great at night! He's just a really great baby.
I want to thank everyone for your support over the last month. We would not be doing so well if it weren't for all of you.

Logan's 2 month doctor visit a couple of weeks ago went well. He is growing well..."eating very well" the doctor put it, which is wonderful. He will see his cardiologist in August to look at his PFO. We are praying that this hole in his heart will continue to heal on its own. He has begun to smile!!, which is melting our hearts! I sent a picture. Logan has also begun physical, occupational and speech therapy. His therapists come to our home and have been impressed by Logan's strength. They are a wonderful team of people who have been so supportive and encouraging. They have been just what we need to stay positive.
Devin just completed swimming lessons (parent child class). He loves the water and has even learned to bob under the water. This summer I can only describe him as a dare devil. No slide is too big (even water slides), no bike or jetski is too fast, no hill is too steep, no ride is too high or fast! He makes me nervous, but I love his bravery! Devin is a great big brother. Logan gets LOTS of kisses and hugs and Devin always wants Logan to go where ever he goes. He says he loves him and that Logan is funny when he makes noises.

Logan had his heart looked at again yesterday and it was all good news! His aorta is growing properly (it had been a bit narrow at birth) and his patent foramen ovale (PFO), the hole in his heart, is an ok size for now. Right now it measures 4mm, which is a size that they would like to see shrink a little more, but for now, the doctor will not call it a defect because it may still get smaller. He also said he does not anticipate having to do surgery because the PFO is not causing Logan to have any negative symptoms. So, we won't have to go back to the cardiologist until Logan is 1 year old.
Logan now weighs 15lbs 10oz and is 23 1/2 inches long. The doctor hardly recognized him! We are not surprised at all because Devin, as you all know, was not a small baby either.
I am very excited about a play group that we have joined, the Down Syndrome Family Network in Appleton. It meets every week and we have met many families with all different aged children. Even at little girl who was born only 4 days before Logan. It has been great to talk with other Moms and Dads who are going through what we are going through. I also met a family who only lives 5 miles from our home!! I am so happy Logan will have these kids as friends as he grows up and Devin has met some new friends too!
I have been told that of all support networks out there for families with children with disabilities, the Down syndrome families are the most willing to reach out to each other. I feel so lucky that this is the case. I can see it being a great help now and in the future.
We can't wait to see some of you at the Buddy Walk. It is going to be lots of fun!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Ben's Wedding

We all got dressed up to attend Uncle Ben's wedding. Traci was a beautiful bride and we are so happy to finally call her "Aunt Traci". Devin danced the night away until midnight!!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Trip to La Crosse

Logan, Devin, Grandma Panzer and I recently took a trip to La Crosse, a long overdue trip, to visit Uncle Justin. With Justin's guidance, we took in the sights including the Children's Museum, Zoo, a local park, and a Mississippi River Paddle Wheeler Cruise. We also got to enjoy some great dinning experiences and I even got a taste of the nightlife downtown. The views of the bluffs were breathtaking. I am so lucky to have kids that travel well. They were great and had tons of fun!