Christmas Day!

We hope everyone had a happy, healthy and safe holiday today!
We are so thankful that we got to spend time with family and friends.

Today's highlights:

Devin finally got his "real trumpet" and drum! Today, he told everyone who asked what he got for Christmas that he got a real trumpet, but not a tuba. (sorry Devin, maybe next year)

















He also got a "real camera" from Grandma Baeten! I checked the camera tonight and found that he took 279 pictures today!!! I never thought anyone took more than me!













Logan loves his chewable, squeaky blocks!

Merry Christmas!

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Watch Devin!!! So funny!

Pediatric Opthamologist

Today, I took Logan to a pediatric opthamologist (recommended at 6 months for babies with DS) to get his eyes checked for any serious problems. We found out that he is a little nearsighted and has astigmatism, but he has no major issues!! Also, his eyes cross intermittently, which I had noticed and was wondering about. The doctor will not do anything about the nearsightedness (getting glasses) or the crossing for now. We will have him checked again at 12 months to decide if he needs glasses or needs to have treatment for the crossing. So, it was a good appointment! I was very relieved to hear that he can see quite well. Now, I am worrying about his hearing. This past week, his occupational therapist asked if I have had his ears checked since birth. She is noticing that he does not react to the sound of a rattle or musical toys. I made an appointment with an ENT (ear, nose, throat specialist) for the 31st so that I can get his ears checked and get recommendations about the fluid and wax in his ears. I am concerned that this could effect his hearing if we don't keep an eye on it now. My biggest fear is an inability to hear effecting his speech.

What I Wish

I wish that when Logan was born, especially right after he was born, I would have looked at him as the perfect little boy he is...instead of having the feelings I had. It WAS hard to bond at first. All I could think about was the DS. I regret not being happy and taking tons of pictures etc. We even turned away our visitors...which was wrong...we just didn't want to face reality and we didn't want others to see us upset. What a shame...I wish I would have known then what I know now...because I would have invited everyone I know to come see us at the hospital.

Video: Logan Learning to Sit

Beautiful Pictures

My sister and her husband are exceptionally talented photographers and I wish that I could have one of them at my side 24-7 to capture life's most precious moments. But, thankfully, a few times a year I am lucky enough to have then around to take some pictures of my family. I want to share a few of my favorites from Thanksgiving. Visit www.photographphotograph.com to see more of their work.

Logan: 7 Months

Logan has been working on sitting (so far he sits in a boppy for about 1 minute at a time!!!!)....my goal is to have him sitting by his 6 month evaluation by Birth to 3, which is at the end of January. Sitting was one of our goals, along with a few others that we will work on as well. Also, his favorite thing right now is sucking his thumb...his left one. It is so cute, but I am working on having him take a pacifier so that I don't have to break a bad habit later. The thumb sucking is great when it's time to go to sleep. I just put him in his crib, he rolls to his belly, pops it in and goes right to sleep.

Doctor Visit

Logan has a sinus infection....hopefully after he is on the medication we will get rid of this cough that he has had for over 3 months now and maybe a little bit of his stuffiness. I feel so bad for him, especially at night when he has to work so hard to breathe.

Logan is 7 months old!

Logan is not having a good 7 month birthday. He has a cough that is getting worse and last night he had a high fever and was throwing up, so I'm taking him in this morning. He was just miserable. He was very uncomfortable and cried a lot until he finally fell asleep late last night, but he did sleep well though, so I hope that is a good sign.
I will take a 7 month picture when he is feeling better.

Future Musician

Devin has been completely obsessed with band instruments since he saw the BHS marching band this past summer and the pep band at the football and basketball games. He is much more interested in the band than the sports, which makes his dad a bit nervous. (you have to know his Dad, a sports junky) Devin marches around the house pretending anything is an instrument, making his unique sounds in perfect rhythms. Every once in a while I recognize one of the pep band songs coming out of him. Today, I decided to take him for his first trip to a music store. You would have thought we had just entered Disney World when we walked through the door! We had earlier been to Toys R Us, and he walked around that store not so impressed by the huge amount of toys etc, but when we walked into the music store....well, I just have to say it was a cheap and unexpected thrill. He went from one shinny instrument to the next, touching each one so gently. He wanted everything in the store. In the back they had drums piled high to the ceiling, which he even got to try out. He played a REAL drum for the first time with real drum sticks!! I searched the store, hoping to find the perfect little version of a brass instrument, but with no luck, wishing I could just buy him a real one for Christmas. We left the store with a tiny little brass trumpet Christmas ornament that he even "played" for the cashier as I paid for it. After his performance, everyone in the store understood my son's obsession that I had been telling them about. (picture below is Devin playing the little trumpet...he pretended to played it while I grocery shopped AND all the way home)

Tonight, I went on the internet searching for a children's trumpet that looked like the real thing. I found and ordered a silver (plastic) trumpet for 3+ years!! I hope it arrives in time for Christmas! It was the perfect gift for Devin.

Holiday Cookies with Grandma

Today, Devin made Christmas Cookies with his Grandma Debbie. He LOVED it! Here are a few highlights. I think he is going to be up all night after all the sugar! I think he ate as much as he decorated!

Friends

Happy Birthday Harrison!
We celebrated Harrison's First Birthday this past weekend. My group of high school girl friends is growing by the minute! The kids are multiplying. Here are four of the five that we have so far. Getting together is going to be a loads of crazy fun. One new baby is not pictured and two more are one the way!!














Logan with his godfather.

The Hair

I wasn't kidding about the hair. I thought it was hilarious how the sun coming in the window right now caught it just right! Yes, the blinding light is his blond hair! Sometimes his hair looks like it has a little red in it like mine.

Trying to take a Christmas picture.






















A cute winter outfit!

Worry

It's strange how one day I don't care at all that Logan has DS and other days it bothers me a lot. When it bothers me, I think about how things could have been, how Devin's life has changed, how people are going to look at our family from now on, and how much more I am going to worry when it comes to Logan's development into a child, teen and adult. It is all so overwhelming, but other days, I don't worry at all and I just look at how adorable and sweet he is. Today, Logan's physical therapist came and she always has good things to say about Logan. This helped, I have been worrying lately about Logan's motor skills because he hasn't done anything new for months. I just don't see any change in him at all. She is good at pointing out little things that I may have overlooked. But even if she doesn't really convince me that he has changed, she makes me feel good anyway.

Spike

Logan has been spouting spikey hair lately. It's growing straight up! No hair products needed!

Cereal Success

Logan is finally eating his cereal. I have discovered that oatmeal is what he likes, not the rice stuff. He doesn't eat a lot, but he is swallowing and not gagging much at all. Way to go Logan!!

Parenting Magazine

Last night, I was surprised to find a great article in the December/January issue of Parenting Magazine. I have to admit that I have just recently started to page through this magazine again. (looking for gift ideas) After Logan was born and the magazine would come, I would usually throw it away or give it away. I couldn't even open it because I just thought, "there's nothing in there about my baby!!". So, I guess I should give the magazine a chance again because they did decide to talk about my baby, but I still think they could do more to include families and children living with disabilities in their magazine. I would love to see a baby with Down syndrome on the cover or in some of the pictures inside or some special toys or products for my child.
Here is the article: Life With Anthony

Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
We had much to be thankful for this year. Logan's good health for starters (heart etc.) and a happy and healthy toddler who TOLD us what he was thankful for. Topping his list, of course, was toys then that was followed by family and friends. I can't believe his vocabulary lately. When Birth to 3 comes to our house for Logan, they always comment on how clear Devin's speech is. They have told us he is way ahead for his age. That makes me feel proud, but I can't help feeling sad that Logan won't be speaking as well when he is Devin's age. I am so thankful that I have been able to understand Devin's speech for years now. I fear the frustration that Logan and I may encounter when he is older and can't get his point across to me.

I am so thankful for our wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive this year and loving towards Logan.

Logan has been fighting off congestion and a cough since he was sick in October. I feel like he may be this way all winter. He just can't shake it, but he is such a trooper to be so content when feeling so icky.
In other Logan news, he ate about a quarter cup of cereal this morning! He did a much better job swallowing and he opened his mouth for the spoon. I am hopping we can avoid therapy to help him spoon and bottle feed. No luck with bottles though lately.

Thyroid Test Results

The results of Logan's thyroid test came today. His number was 4.38 on a scale of .55-7.10. I have no idea what those numbers mean, I guess I should do a little research, but if he falls within this range his thyroid is normal, which it does.
I am very happy about the results, but I still don't have any answers to why Logan sleeps so much. His doctor told me to enjoy is while it lasts, so I guess that is what I am going to do. I just worry that he is not going to get stronger and learn new skills when he is not awake much.
Logan also had occupational therapy today and I had to explain to his therapist that he is just not interested in toys right now. That fact makes her visits a little frustrating because her job right now is to monitor his development as far as his reaching for and grasping of toys is going. When he is not doing that, it seems like we are doing nothing when she is here. He just looks at us like we are bothering him. He just wants to relax and look around the room.
Here is a picture of Logan from this past weekend. He is sitting with a couple of friends of mine, including another new addition to our group. Also, I made two more diaper cakes.

Logan's Doctor Visit

20 lbs 11 oz (93% regular chart)
25.5 inches long (20% regular chart-he is now on the chart!!!)
We got a referral to a pediatric opthamologist and are wait for the results of the thyroid test. Drawing the blood for the thyroid test was awful! They couldn't take it from his arm because he is too chubby, so they had to take it drop by drop out of his finger. It was the longest I have ever seen him cry! Our pediatrician said he usually checks the thyroid once a year, but I was told by the DS clinic in Milwaukee to do it every 6. After our experience I don't want to do it every 6 months if I can help it, it was terrible.

The First 6 Months (*music, turn up your volume)

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com
Happy 6 Months Tomorrow Logan!

Moving On

After my last post, I feel I need to lighten the mood a little.
I am excited for Logan's 6 month doctor visit on Tuesday. I have a ton of questions and I hope to get a referral to a pediatric opthamologist, just to make sure Logan doesn't have any eye issues. I also want to have his thyroid checked again. I will post the results Tuesday. I am thankful for our wonderful pediatrician who always has great things to say about Logan. I always leave there with a positive feeling.

Dealing With the Diagnosis

I cried a lot in the first couple of weeks after Logan was born. Eventually, I considered a day a good one when I could last all day without crying. One of my favorite artists is John Mayer. Some days (still) I do very well until I hear this song. (I should really ditch this CD, but I love it too much)

The Heart of Life
By John Mayer

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good


I made a list that has been ongoing since Logan was born. I never thought I would share this list with anyone. I feel very ashamed of it, but I felt like I needed to write them down to make sense of what I was feeling and so that I could remember this time in my life even though it was the hardest time of my life.
Here goes....some of these lasted moments, some lasted for weeks, some I still feel today
A series of emotions from the beginning to the present
1. Shock
2. Trapped in a nightmare
3. Can I please rewind my life...can we just go back to the way it was?
4. This can't be my life, where is my life?
5. I have let my family down
6. I didn't ask for a lifetime commitment, isn't 18-20 years enough?
7. He doesn't look like us
8. Mourning the boy we were supposed to have
9. I let Devin down
10. This is not fair to Devin
11. A GREAT fear of the future
12. A fear of the school years
13. He's not developing fast enough

I believe Logan was given to us, by God, on purpose. Besides looking into my beautiful angel's eyes, that is what gets me through each day.

Well, that is where I am at now. I do feel I have come a long way. Each day is different from the last and I do feel a bit more healed everyday, but I also know that it may take a lifetime to heal completely.

Logan's 6 Month Pictures

Prepare yourself, their are lots of poses! The naked ones were a must to show off those rolls that won't last forever. I would love to hear which ones you like best. My favorites are the first and last. Logan is not sitting up yet, but it looks like he can.
Enjoy!

Reality Sets In

Ok, I should not have done it...but I did. I was doing a great job holding out. I didn't open any baby books or watch any old videos. I peeked today, and I am not even sure why. Devin was pulling himself up at 6 months. Logan will be 6 months in under 2 weeks. Devin had been sitting up for months and crawling too at 6 months. Logan is still working on holding his head well and I don't think he will sit for a while. I had recently convinced myself that I didn't care, but I think I do care very much. I feel a heavy reality setting in now. I long for Devin to have a playmate...I worry how long it will be until they can really play. Sometimes I feel like I let Devin down.

More Halloween Pics

Devin and his trick or treat buddy Caeden.














Madeline definitely won my BEST COSTUME 2007 AWARD! Cutest peacock ever! Go Maddy!! She even had big bird feet that went with the costume!
Devin, Madelynn and Logan

Treadmill Training For DS Babies

Thanks to some fellow bloggers, I came across a VERY interesting article. A study was done with 30 Down syndrome babies that found that regular exercise on a treadmill helped them walk months earlier. The average age for a DS baby to walk is 24 months and this study claims to move up the walking time by an average of 3 and a half months!
That is exciting stuff!!! I am currently looking into it further...
I found an article on the March of Dimes website. Check it out!

Happy Halloween!!

I believe their costumes fit them perfectly! Happy Halloween, from my round little pumpkin and his big silly monkey brother!

















No more monkeys jumping on the bed!!

Sad Day

Logan moved out of our bedroom on Monday. It was a really hard thing to do, but I knew the sooner I did it the easier it would be for him to get used to his crib. I got really used to being able to listening to him breath and hearing every little baby noise. He has been ready to move for a long time though, because he has been sleeping through the night for the past 4 months or so. He has been doing ok with it...he woke up around 2am on Monday night, but last night he made it through. I don't blame him, the pack-and-play had a much softer mattress.

Also, I have received a blog award!









Thanks RK and Braska

Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Wednesday is the end of October and Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I found a great website to buy awareness pins, key chains, car magnents and rubber bracelets. Visit PinMart to find these items.

Sweet Street

Halloween fun with cousins!













Logan has been sleeping a lot lately. ..it worries me. I am not used to such an easy going baby who will fall asleep any where any time. I plan on talking to his doctor about this. He has been sick, so that could be part of it. I just thought by now he would be out of this sleepy stage of life. If he sleeps all the time, how is he supposed to get stronger and learn new skills...??

Bumbo Funbo!!

Logan is now seeing the world from a different point of view! He absolutely loves to sit....I know it is because he can look at mommy instead of her always holding him from behind to sit! The smile says it all.

Perspective

Someone I know recently told me that if she could not have children of her own someday, she wants to adopt a child with special needs. Her words shocked me and made me think..."Maybe I can make it.....if someone I know would choose to have a family like mine". I guess I just assumed that no one would want to be in my position even though they all say how wonderful Logan is and that everything is going to be ok. Before Logan, I know I would not have willingly taken on a child like him. I feel a bit ashamed of that. Maybe that is why God gave him to me. I needed a little push to try something that was completely out of my comfort zone.

To that special person...THANK YOU...the world needs more people like you in it.

First Hospital Stay

Wednesday night, Logan went to bed and only minutes later he started to make really scary sounds when he breathed in and out. I thought maybe he was just stuffy, which he usually is and I went to bed, but couldn't sleep. I just laid there worrying about what was happening. Soon he was crying and coughing and gasping for air. We always have a humidifier running, but that wasn't working so we went in the bathroom and ran the shower. The steam didn't help much, but Logan eventually settled down and fell back asleep. He continued to make loud sounds in his sleep so I just sat up watching him. Over the next few hours he woke up a couple more times crying, coughing and gasping for air. I got on the phone with a nurse and described what was happening and she thought right away that it was croup. His barking cough and loud breathing (it sounded to me like a honking goose) gave it away. She told me that the croup comes at night and we should keep doing what we were doing until morning, then I should bring him in to his pediatrician. I also needed to watch him and make sure he wasn't turning blue (great way to help me relax), or then I would need to go to the ER. At about 5am he started running a fever (which was not supposed to happen with croup) of about 102-103...I called again and they said he would be ok until his 11am appointment, but that I could take him to the ER if I didn't want to wait. Well, we waited and when we got to his appointment they tried to treat him, but it didn't help. He had develop stridor (the loud sound when he was breathing and his rib cage was retracting when he was struggling to breath) which should not have been happening in the middle of the day. He also still had a 102 temp. We ended up going to the hospital and staying the night. He also had bronchitis and they even worried about pneumonia, but thankfully he did not get that. I did finally get a little sleep and Logan started responding to the treatments and medication so we were able to go home the next day. He is doing much better today. His pediatrician told us that when Logan gets sick it will always be a little more serious than an average child and he will always be a little bit more susceptible to catching illnesses.
Well, our first sickness scare turned out alright and we can just hope to keep him as healthy as possible through the rest of the cold and flu season.